And I’m still doing standup. Kind of.
It’s been a bit of a year for me, and standup has taken a back seat for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I took all of August off work and took my kids on month-long road-trip across America – from Yellowstone to Chicago, with a lot of stop-offs along the way. So the planning and prep for that took up a lot of headspace for the first half of the year and I wasn’t really thinking much about comedy.
But the other Big Thing that got in my way this year was learning that an old girlfriend died in the spring. There’s a lot to be said about that, and this neglected standup comedy blog probably isn’t the place to say it all. She meant a lot to me, always will. There was unfinished business between us, important things left unsaid, and I always imagined that one day we’d have an opportunity to make it all right, but cancer had different plans.
It took the wind out of my sails, and left me trying to work out some stuff about myself and my future.
I’ve only done a handful of gigs throughout the year – a few I booked, a few that people asked me to do. Every time, I’ve arrived at the show feeling nervous, out of practice, unhappy about the prospect of cranking out 10 minutes of the same old shit I’ve been doing for years.
And every time it’s gone pretty well, and reminded me that I love doing standup. The gigs go well regularly enough for me to think eventually I could be more than a bottom-feeder. But even if I never make it to more serious gigs, just doing open mics and bar shows is good enough for me.
If I can make a few people in a room above a pub laugh for 10 minutes, and spend the rest of the night hanging out with the other misfits and train-wrecks who feel compelled to do this nonsense, that’s a great time as far as I’m concerned.
There are a handful of old lunatics on the circuit, who’ve been around longer than anybody can remember – you’ll never see them on TV or at the Comedy Store, because they’re too weird, too unpredictable. But they keep showing up, keep trying new things, and they keep getting laughs. If that’s my destiny, I’ll take it – sounds better than playing fucking golf.
Last night was my final gig of the year, and I was determined to do something new instead of relying on my tried and tested stuff – it wasn’t all new material, but a collection of older bits structured into some kind of coherent thread, with a few new bits thrown in along the way. The main thing was I didn’t want to use any of my parenting material, because I’m done with that – and apart from one setup that relies on the audience knowing I’m a dad, I didn’t talk about it at all, which was a small victory.
It all worked well enough on the night, at a safe, friendly gig, but it needs a lot of sharpening up before I’d risk doing it at a gong show or anywhere with higher stakes. All the same, it got me back on track and fired up about throwing myself back into it in the new year.
I’ve got a couple of spots lined up for January. On the 15th I’m doing Instant Laughs in Mitcham, and on the 22nd, I’ll be at The Comedy Centre in Isleworth, and I’m planning to book a lot more to get back into a regular cadence.
Onwards and, well, onwards, I suppose.